Happily Ever After
by Lady Saffir
Summary: Relena candidly talks about the good and bad things that happened in her marriage to Heero. " I honestly have no idea whose idea it was, but in hindsight, I can tell you it was a pretty bad idea."


Happily Ever After  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Gundam Wing characters. Bleh. :(  
  
By Lady Saffir  
  
***********************  
  
Don't even try to tell me that 'Happily Ever After' exists. The Princess never wins her true love's hand in marriage, and her reign is never peaceful.  
  
The entire idea of 'Happily Ever After' is something made up many years ago by a lonely woman, told to her daughters' one rainy night, and has turned into a myth that has been perpetuated throughout the years.  
  
Well, listen up, because this is coming straight from the Princess' mouth.  
  
There is no such thing as a knight in shining armor riding in to rescue the Princess; no pirate that has ever foresworn his previous actions all for the love of a beautiful maiden. And if you believe that some peasant boy has ever turned noble and risked everything for a chance at a Princess' hand, please tell me what you're taking - I think I need some of it.  
  
A knight in shining armor rescues the damsel because of an ideal - everyone expects him to do the rescuing, and everyone expects the Princess to be a wise, beneficent ruler that will always place her country's welfare above her own desires. So when he leaves because he feels he can never be the man she needs him to be, the Princess is supposed to be able to withstand the pain.   
  
And let me tell you, the knight doesn't just leave quietly in the middle of the night. Months preceding the event, there is a lot of arguing, yelling, and all around frustration for both parties involved.  
  
Gee...don't I sound like the voice of experience.  
  
So what's got my panties in a twist, as Duo would say?  
  
I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count.  
  
************************  
  
I'll be the first to admit that I was quite the naive little schoolgirl when I first met Heero. I'll also be the first to tell you that during my childhood, my head was stuffed with the fanciful idea of a knight in shining armor saving the day, all for the love of me.  
  
Excuse me while I barf.  
  
So anyway, here's Heero, this totally hot, mysterious (dare I say sexy?) boy that suddenly appears out of nowhere. And he can do it all, just like a knight is supposed to. He can dance, ride a horse, debate politics, wire a bomb, shoot a gun, duel...a perfect candidate for a girl to fall in love with - right?  
  
So that's what I do. I throw all caution to the wind, pick up my bags, and follow the boy around the world.  
  
No, I am not crazy.  
  
To be honest, I was struggling to find out who I was as a person. I didn't like the way people saw me, and so I searched for a reason to change, to make people realize that I wasn't just a bubble-headed society girl. And Heero seemed to know it all. He was so focused, so able to concentrate that I decided after he promised to kill me the first time, that I wanted to understand him. I felt that if I could understand him, then I had a chance of understanding me.  
  
Oh, what a naive little girl I was.  
  
So there I was, at the end of the war, thinking that after everything I...I mean, we, had gone through, we both deserve a bit of happiness. Plus my life would be extremely boring if I didn't have Heero to drag kicking and screaming into a conversation every now and then.  
  
Ah, those were the days.  
  
Apparently Heero felt he deserved a bit of normality as well, because he actually stuck around. I'm not really sure why - he'd slink around the mansion, or tuck himself far away into some little hidy-hole and read all day long. The worst days were when he would ride all day. I was so mad one day that I said in anger that he should just go ahead and try out for the European team that competed in the Olympics.  
  
So what did the dang boy do but try out - and make it.   
  
But that's a bit far into the future.  
  
So here we are, living together, learning how to NOT act like we're walking on pins and needles around each other, and one of us gets the bright idea to get stinking drunk and screw each other silly.  
  
I honestly have no idea whose idea it was, but in hindsight, I can tell you it was a pretty bad idea.  
  
At the time though...well, let's just say that after that night, Heero rarely slept in his room anymore.  
  
By the time this all happens, we were both eighteen, and each of us was sure that we had the world figured out. At least, I did; getting Heero to discuss internal thoughts and feelings was like trying to stop Libra's beamcannon with a baseball glove.  
  
I'll admit I was continuously dropping hints for an engagement ring. Duo hadn't wasted any time; Quatre and Trowa were apparently dating the other's sister; hell, even WUFEI would occasionally do a romantic thing for Sally.  
  
That's not to say that Heero only used for me for a sex toy; we went out, had 'normal' dates (if you can call out running the paparazzi normal) and once in a blue moon I'd find a flower hidden in my office drawer. I know there have been worse relationships in the world, but come on - I was basing my life off of the 'Happily Ever After' tales. Flowers were nothing; at best they were a precursor to being swept off my feet and taken to an exotic, remote island somewhere.  
  
Hmm...I sound like a spoiled brat, don't I? Oh well. I've made peace with the person I have become; all I can ask is that I'm not judged to harshly for wishing a childhood fantasy would come true.  
  
Back to the story.  
  
At twenty, I was beginning to despair in ever seeing the altar from a bride's perspective. And then suddenly, totally out of the blue, Heero nonchalantly pulls me aside during a luncheon, drops to his knee, and pulls out a diamond ring. And no, it wasn't a huge rock that needed its own support system; it was a perfectly sized gem to go with the delicate setting cradling it.  
  
So of course I get all mushy and teary-eyed, and my faith in 'Happily Ever After' is reaffirmed. And Heero actually seemed content, in the months to follow. He even participated in planning the event, giving input to likes and dislikes.  
  
The actual wedding day seemed anticlimactic, though. I mean, here I planned for a year for this event, down to the tiniest detail, but does anyone notice the fact that the flowers are a combination of Heero's birth month flowers and mine? If they did, they didn't say anything to me.  
  
I suppose I was a bit hung up on all the 'pretties' but again I reiterate that this was a part of my Happily Ever After. And as everyone knows from their fairy tales, Happily Ever After includes the sweetest, most romantic wedding ever.  
  
The biggest shock was yet to come. Heero, Mr. 'Everything has a place and it most certainly isn't on the floor' Yuy smeared cake all over my face.  
  
And then he laughed about it.  
  
Everyone, myself included, froze in shock. I mean, come on! - Heero isn't the type of guy that I would suspect in following such a tiny little wedding tradition/gag. Nonetheless, though, he did, I returned the favor, and we swept from the church to the waiting car, and flew off to our honeymoon.  
  
So three years pass and I think everything's going well; my political career is prospering, Heero's content to fiddle with the Preventer computer systems everyday...and I'm pregnant.  
  
Such news that most people would jump for joy over, you would think. Not Heero though; he practically accused me doing this on purpose! Oh yes, I planned it down to the day, and then seduced him that night.  
  
Yes, that was a snort of disbelief you just heard.  
  
I go running off into Sally's arms, crying about everything, and apparently Heero just sat at the mansion and read. At least, that's where Wufei found him when he went to 'reason' with him. No reasoning occurred though; (although I could have told Wufei that before he went to all the trouble) Heero told his friend that he didn't want to be a father - he didn't think he was up for it.  
  
I spent the night with Sally and Wufei, and when I returned to our house the next day, Heero treated me like I was an eggshell, or something equally breakable. He was hesitant to touch me, and god forbid we have sex.  
  
By the time nine months had ended, Heero had thawed to the idea slightly, but he still wasn't entirely happy about being a father.  
  
During the labor - and since this is Heero's child we're talking about, it should be a given that the birthing process was hell - Heero didn't faint or do anything silly like that. But afterwards, when the doctor asked him if he wanted to hold our daughter, he refused.  
  
He wouldn't hold her for three weeks. He'd change her without a fuss, but it took me that long to get him to sit down and feed her a bottle.  
  
After that point, Heero appeared to be more comfortable with Thalia, but he didn't like playing the silly baby games with her. You know what I'm talking about - making silly faces, or saying nonsensical things.  
  
Don't get me wrong; Heero was a wonderful father in some sense of the word. He always made sure she was fed, changed, slept at night...but emotionally, it took some time for him to thaw out.  
  
At twenty-seven, I felt as if I had achieved my Happily Ever After. I had a wonderful husband, a good job, and a child that I was crazy about.  
  
Then the arguing started.  
  
Most people will say they can't remember what started it all, but I can.  
  
Thalia's first birthday was approaching, and I wanted to give her a kitten. She was always chasing Sally's around, and I thought to maybe save the poor cat from a psychological breakdown. If cats can have those.  
  
Heero, on the other hand, felt that Thalia was too young, and we should just buy her a stuffed toy; after all, children at that age think everything is alive, so she'd derive just as much pleasure from a toy as from a live pet.  
  
For an entire month we 'talked' about it - and by talking I mean heated debate - and finally decided that for her birthday she would receive the toy, and at Christmas she'd get the real thing.  
  
Ah, compromise at its best.  
  
Anyway, skip ahead four years.  
  
That little argument had led to bigger arguments, although most of them weren't as petty as the cat issue. I can remember each one, just so you know. There was the time we argued about moving to one of the colonies; Lady Une was dangling a tempting little promotion in Heero's face, and he wanted to take it.  
  
Guess who didn't want him to take it.  
  
In the end, we did move, which lead to the next argument. I was flying back to Earth about once a month with Thalia, to visit other friends and family there. Heero didn't like all the traveling; I'm not too sure why though.  
  
Well, it was about that time that Lady Une decided she'd rather have Heero on Earth, so she gave him another big promotion and we moved back to Europe, back among friends and family.  
  
I was happy as a clam. Heero wasn't so happy.  
  
Hmmm...it seems that I've been giving a horrible view of Heero. So I'll take this time to set everything straight. Heero was a wonderful father. He was a wonderful husband. He didn't drink himself senseless, use drugs, commit adultery, or physical violence/threaten me. Nor did he mope around the house, pouting and whining about why we had to do whatever. He was Mr. Stoic, giving away nothing.  
  
Unless of course you knew him, and then it was possible to feel the...'unhappy vibe', I suppose. It took more and more to get him to smile, to crack a joke. And towards the end, the only sure place to look for him was atop his horse's back.  
  
Our friends became more worried about his behavior, each approaching to ask if 'everything was okay'. I hated the concern and, at times, pity, that I heard creeping into their voices. I was trying to make him happy, he was trying to make himself happy, but nothing was working.  
  
So on a dark and stormy night (yes, I know, I'm a walking, talking cliche) I screwed my courage to the sticking place (of course, I've always considered 'the sticking place' to be where the sun doesn't shine) and confronted Heero.  
  
Ah, confronted. The word denotes something of a battle taking place, doesn't it? Indeed, I was prepared for a knock down, drag out fight, but it never came to that.  
  
Here's what happened.  
  
Thalia, who absolutely ADORED Lady Une, had begged for the right to stay with her 'aunt' for the weekend. Both Heero and I had quickly agreed, so the house was silent as we lay in bed, only the wind rustling the curtains from the opened window.  
  
We had just some of the best sex we've ever had, if you'll excuse the information overload. As usual, I was on my left side, curled up next to Heero's prone form. His breathing was even and deep, but I wasn't fooled for a minute into believing him asleep. The arm locked around my waist was too tense, the skin beneath my cheek twitching uncontrollably, as if Heero were fighting the urge to do something.  
  
So I took a deep breath, an ended it all.  
  
"Tell me what's wrong, Heero."  
  
For some reason the words this time provoked a response other than, 'I'm fine'. In a torrent of words, Heero spilled everything out, stumbling over words in his haste to say them. Even now I can't bear to think too much on what was said that night. But when it was over, we were both crying, the realization of everything that had gone wrong in our life together overwhelming us.  
  
Then we slept, but for me, at least, the pain still haunted my dreams, invading all of the sweet memories I held.  
  
The next morning, Heero and I sat down, calm and rational adults, and worked everything out. Since we were living in one of the Peacecraft mansion, I would naturally remain there, while Heero rented an apartment somewhere nearby. We had signed no prenuptial agreement, not imagining that we would ever need it. Thalia would predominately live with me since I worked out of the mansion, but Heero was free to take her whenever he or Thalia wished it.  
  
We called our lawyer and the Chang's (for witnesses) and the disbelief on their collective faces was almost comical. Luckily no one tried to 'reason' with us, but simply murmured their condolences on the break up of our marriage, and offered to lend a hand whenever it was needed. Our lawyer agreed not to file the paperwork for three days, so that we would have time to help Thalia understand what was going on.  
  
Being our child, Thalia was very perceptive, and knew the minute Une dropped her off that something was amiss.  
  
"Daddy? Mommy?" she asked in her little girl voice, just the slight of tremors evident.  
  
My heart shattered even more.  
  
So in halting tones Heero and I talked to our five year old daughter, and told her that we loved her and would never leave her, but Daddy was going to go live somewhere else, and she would see him everyday.  
  
Thalia looked between us, her baby face and wide blue eyes disbelieving.  
  
"No, daddy don't go! I won't mess wif' Dai (the horse) again!" And so saying, Thalia flung herself into Heero's arms, sobbing and begging him to stay.  
  
I could stand it no longer, and broke down, the first sob so harsh it escaped my throat sounding like a scream. Heero was crying as well, the tears tracking down his face to land in Thalia's hair as she cried against his chest.  
  
Heero looked up at me and beckoned me to him with one hand. I gladly fell into his embrace, and between the two of us we cradled Thalia and murmured nonsensical things to her, and all the while we both cried for the death of our 'Happily Ever After'.  
  
***********************  
  
And that's pretty much how my 'Happily Ever After' ended.  
  
Oh, wait, I forgot an important bit of information. Two, actually.  
  
The first is that a year after our divorce, Heero decided to finally try out for the Olympic team. Naturally he made it, and performed so well that now he splits his time between competing and the Preventers.  
  
And where did he gain his magnificent steed, you ask? Well, from me. It was a birthday present, and I knew as soon as he laid eyes on it, the thing would be nothing but trouble. I knew there was a reason I was never very fond of horses.  
  
The second bit? Well, three weeks after we separated, I was rushed to the hospital for nausea and fainting at a meeting. My doctor performed some tests, and lo and behold, the bloodwork came back with the news that I was pregnant.  
  
So...not only is there no such thing as 'Happily Ever After', but god also has a wicked sense of humor.  
  
The paparazzi kept trying to claim that the baby wasn't Heero's, but my mystery lover's, and that was the whole reason we split. Heero threw such a fit that no one from any press organization has dared come near our family, unless we're at a public function.  
  
And yes, Heero plays a very active role in raising our son, Jonathon. Heero has also started seeing other people - at the moment, it's Catherine Bloom, Trowa's sister.   
  
So, it looks like Heero gets a second chance at living a happy life, what about me?  
  
Well, I'm thinking about dating again; I just dread having to weed out the men that are in it for the money or the fame. I refuse to be the public figure that marries every couple of years and has a million children.  
  
Of course, I've been spending a lot of time with Trowa. The children adore him, and he makes me feel both safe and special.  
  
Okay, so maybe this cranky old Princess will find a 'Happily Ever After' after all. Who knows? - I just keep telling myself not to fall for suicidal Gundam pilots.  
  
Yes, I have learned to laugh at myself.  
  
************************* 


End file.
